Phoebe's Journey
by whereverwithyou
Summary: My vision of Phoebe's journey to and from New York. Songfic set to "NYC Weather Report" by Five For Fighting.


Phoebe's Journey

By Patricia L. Bryans

_Disclaimer: The only character I own in this story is Pam. The song used is also not mine. It is _NYC Weather Report_ by _Five For Fighting_, off of his album _The Battle For Everything. _The story is set in 1997._

Phoebe got a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach as she drew closer to the bus. She was about to leave behind her family, home, education, and possible future career to start over with hardly any money… all the way across the country. She knew this was something she had to do if she wanted to keep her sisters from finding out her secret, but that didn't make it any easier. Especially since her grandmother, the woman who had raised Phoebe her entire life, was now dead. Phoebe had thought of this "escape plan" long before Grams had died, and when she did, it almost made Phoebe reconsider leaving. But then she remembered the hell that she would get from Prue if her older sister found out she was pregnant. Would she ever look at Phoebe the same way again? Would she insult her for the rest of her life? Would she even help her out with the baby, or would Piper once again be the only one in the whole family who understood?

That's how Phoebe knew that she had to hold true to her original plan and go to New York. She stepped on the bus, thinking of what would await her in the Eastern Time Zone. Hopefully she would find a job and be able to support her child. It would kill her to see her kid grow up in ruins without a home or any money whatsoever. But Phoebe stayed confident, telling herself that she'd find her Dad, and then he would help her out. She shoved her suitcase into the overhead storage and sat down. She nervously started chewing on a piece of gum, and immediately spit it out because the flavor made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Damn morning sickness," Phoebe thought. She looked out the window instead, still nervous about her future. "…come back if something happens. You're always welcome here," Phoebe thought, remembering Piper's advice. She told herself not to be too hard-headed if things got really bad; to come home and face Prue if she needed to. Phoebe gently placed a hand on her stomach as the bus began to roll out onto the San Francisco streets. She gazed around at every part of the city, knowing that it might very well be the last time she ever got to see it.

_Gotta get away from here._

_Gotta get away from all these thinkers_

_Drinking up my thoughts again._

The bus passed down Prescott Street, and a shot of pain ran through Phoebe's heart as she gazed at her house, knowing her sisters were inside grieving over their grandmother's death… While Phoebe had just abandoned them. She didn't help comfort anyone. Instead she just said "adios" and hopped on a bus. Sure, her sisters (well Piper anyway) probably didn't think that of her, but that's what Phoebe felt she'd done to them. A tear rolled down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away.

The bus turned down some more streets. Phoebe silently waved goodbye to all of her college friends as she passed their houses and apartments. Some were rich, some were poor. Phoebe had never looked at her friends and seen the community they lived in, money in their pockets, or amount of parties they went to versus the amount of homework they'd ever done. She only saw the souls inside them, and that's why they had been her friends. But now there would be no one to guide Phoebe along and help her make decisions, whether they be good or bad.

_Gotta get away from here._

_Gotta get away from all these choosers, losers…_

_All my best of friends._

The bus turned one more time onto a main street. It began to pass under the Golden Gate Bridge. Phoebe aimlessly watched and sighed as each red rail whizzed by.

_Sit back New York City_

_You're not cute but you're oh so pretty._

_When the rain comes_

_You fall up again._

_Sunny…_

_You are a part of me._

_Sunny…_

_You are the heart of me._

As the bus reached the mainland, Phoebe turned and took one last picture of the city and all that it contained in her mind.

"Goodbye," she whispered.

……………………

Phoebe gawked as she admired the Las Vegas landscape. The first bus route had ended in Sin City, and Phoebe was about to transfer over to another one. She had just gotten off of a pay phone which she'd used to call Piper. She planned to call home whenever she had to change buses, providing that she didn't run out of change. Phoebe told Piper that she was in Vegas and everything was going alright. She wanted so badly to tell her about the child she was carrying too, but she didn't. Her time traveling and money spent would be worth nothing if she wasn't protecting her secret any longer.

Phoebe looked at her watch. It was almost time for the next bus to leave. She gathered her suitcase and backpack, and shuffled onto it. Next stop, Salt Lake City. To Phoebe, the New York landscape could not take any longer to show up in the distance.

_Gotta get away from here._

_Gotta get away from all these people_

_Who need people…_

_You know it really makes me sick._

_Gotta get away from here._

_Gotta get away from expectations, recreations…_

_Just for the sake of it._

_Sit back New York City_

_You're not cute but you're oh so pretty._

_When the rain comes_

_You fall up again._

_Sunny…_

_You are a part of me._

_Sunny…_

_You are the heart of me._

……………………

Salt Lake City, Denver, St. Louis, Chicago, Cincinnati, Philadelphia… it seemed that Phoebe had been everywhere in the nation by now, and it was finally here… New York. Phoebe got that nervous feeling again as the bus exited the Lincoln Tunnel. She placed her hand on her stomach, which had become slightly bloated-looking since she left California. Today her life began.

_Sit back New York City_

_You're not cute but you're oh so pretty._

_When the rain falls_

_You come out again._

_Sit back New York City friend…_

Phoebe stepped off the bus and took in the scenery around her. First thing first, find a place to stay. So Phoebe walked over to the sidewalk, and as her first action as a New Yorker, she hailed a taxicab.

……………………

Phoebe sniffled, trying not to cry with a bunch of strangers sitting around her. It was useless, her tears came anyway. She was looking down at pictures of her precious daughter Pam. Phoebe blew her nose. It seemed like she had only been a mother for a week before it was all taken away from her. Clay had stopped helping her out… she lost her job… she was in tons of debt… So she did the only thing she could think of to insure her daughter a happy childhood. Pam was adopted by a nice couple named the Richardsons. As soon as Phoebe was finished saying her tearful goodbye, she used some change she'd collected from the sidewalks to call Piper.

"I'm coming home," she said, maintaining as much composure as she could. Her sisters would not be told of their niece… at least not for now. Phoebe used the last of the money she had to buy a bus ticket. The pictures she held in her hands were the only thing she had to remind her of her little girl. Phoebe flipped through the pile. The very last one was a picture of her and her sisters. She smiled weakly; something she hadn't done in a while. As the bus left behind the tall skyscrapers of New York, Phoebe knew that somehow, someday, everything was going to be alright.

_Gotta get away from here._

_Gotta get away from what I'm thinking, thinking…_

_It's too much for anyone._

_Gotta get away from here._

_Gotta get away from what you're drinking, drinking…_

_So I'll take another one._

THE END

_If you liked this story and the idea of it, you can read my other story _The Lost Halliwell_ (if you haven't already) to see how Pam finally meets up with her mother again!_


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